He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
