that's an acceptable place to lick
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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