This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
