Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I deserve this hangover.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
