she looked like the before picture.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I need a burrito and a hug.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
