You made me cry and you don't even care
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
