I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
