Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
