Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
