I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
