is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
