glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
