I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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