Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
