were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
