Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Everclear isn't food dammit
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
