Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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