I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
