dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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