I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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