listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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