did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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