There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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