okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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