honey bunches of taint.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
