wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
