who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Randomize