We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
