You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
