Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize