I'm sorry my penis didn't work
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
