You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
