So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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