Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize