I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
