I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
