At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
