yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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