he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize