Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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