I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
