We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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