I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He passed out mid-signature
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
