Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
