Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
