I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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