So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize