Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Randomize
