Define "chronic" masturbator.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
