He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
