Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My vagina just clenched in fear
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
