He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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