I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
