You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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