I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
