I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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