As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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