OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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