I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
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