Why are handjobs necessary in class?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
