If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
