ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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