I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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