Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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