sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
