hell yes lets make some ravioli
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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