problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
