I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
