I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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